Divine Tests
Even those who follow Johnny Applewheeze may face their own allergies.
1-3. Mother Nature decides to punish the druid for upsetting the applecart of true, wholesome health. He begins to cough, itch, and wheeze for the next 1d6 turns, being able to do little else.
4-8. Spreading allergic woe certainly makes the druid the apple of Johnny’s burning, red eye. The druid loses access to some of his spells (50% chance for each one) including possibly his turn ability. He must do one of the following in order to be able to use them again. Roll 1d4.
[1] Plant at least 1d3 apple trees or the equivalent quantity of other allergens so that the susceptible might have a bad reaction.
[2] Poison the food or drink of at least 1d3 people so that they develop allergies (if they don’t die first!)
[3] Cause at least 2d6 damage to someone, either by putting a burning tin pot hat on them or shooting an apple off their head and missing on purpose.
[4] Do battle with an Animate Theocratic Vegetable that has 1d4 HD. It will soon arrive (per Referee) to attempt to teach him the true meaning of divine health. See divine test #15-16 for its stats.
9-14. Johnny remolds the druid forevermore into a very bad apple in order to hopefully spoil the whole barrel. Roll 1d4.
[1] Apple-Red Eyes: Becomes immune to illusions or sight-based attacks, but also suffers a -6 penalty to vision-related rolls due to all the ocular burning.
[2] Nasal Drip Cider: Can throw globs of mucus at will that cause those hit to save vs. poison or be stunned for 1 round, but also takes a -6 to rolls that involve speaking because he gurgles often.
[3] Skin Apples: Gains a +3 bonus to all saves, but takes a -3 to rolls that involve concentration (including casting spells, but not necessarily their effects) from the constant itching.
[4] Apple-Stuffed Sinuses: Becomes immune to odor and gas-based attacks, but cannot be stealthy thanks to all the wheezing and mouth breathing.
15-16. 1d4 Animate Theocratic Vegetables show up, singing songs of hypoallergenic morality and well-being. Johnny declares that they must be stopped!
AL: L; Mve: 40’; AC 6; HD 1d6; Attk: 1 musical instrument; Dmg: 1d6 +1 per odd HD; SP: Immune to disease/allergies; touch cures disease/allergies; irritating songs cause non-lawful individuals to save vs. spell or be stunned for 1d2 rounds, 3/day; Sve: F2 + HD, Mor: 12
17+ Surprisingly, Johnny once wanted to help others, wandering and planting apple trees for the benefits they bestow (rather than just to cause folk allergic reactions) before he became so frustrated that he eventually turned into an arch-demon. His druid now experiences this earlier state- as a punishment- causing natural nourishment and health to occur to all who are within 120’ of him. This situation lasts for 1 day per divine test result over 16, suppressing the druid’s powers, even if he would much rather be spreading appleodema in the Garden of Eden.
DCC RPG Conversion notes:
Turn ability= turn unholy ability
Referee= Judge
Save vs. poison= make a Fortitude save DC 15
Save vs. spell= make a Will save DC 15
Stats for Animate Theocratic Vegetable in results #15-16: Init: +3; Atk musical instrument +1 per HD (1d6 +1 per odd HD); AC 13; HD 1d10– 6d10; MV 30’; Act 1d20; SP Immune to disease/allergies; touch cures disease/allergies; irritating songs cause non-lawful individuals to make a Will save DC 15 or be stunned for 1d2 rounds, 3/day; SV Fort +1d6, Ref +2d8, Will +4d4
Next week: druids of Johnny Applewheeze, Part III!
